bye im never commenting on my friends’ selfies again
guess who i just bumped into on another photo
p h o m o n i m a l
The older I get the more I realize lying is a waste of energy, its better to tell everyone the truth and let them be mad about it while you have a clear conscious
I thought this said living was a waste of energy and was like amen
That too
tumblr text post: when you’re talking to a boy and he’s so so cute and you think he’s the on-
me: (leaning forward so my lips touch the microphone) Can’t Relate
incense smells bad there i said it
how do you know what the sexual love between two siblings smells like? 🤔
reading and comprehension on this site is in shambles
How dare you say I have shingles
english teacher: why is there so much conflict throughout history?
me:
I don’t even procrastinate anymore I just straight up neglect 100% of my responsibilities
someone: you forgot to eat? how?? aren’t you starving?
me: I don’t know I can’t feel anything
